Level 4: I wanna be like you, midwife

When I arrive at a birth, I try my best to think of the major things I need to do before I get there. Immediate needs:

  1. Fetal heart rate, contraction timing
  2. Maternal vitals
  3. Set up equipment and document
  4. Offer vaginal exam (VE)

Generally, as I’m washing my hands after arrival all I’m thinking about is how am I going to do this vaginal exam, steps to finding a cervix, and what different centimetres feel like. Oh ya, and where is the piece of paper that I need to write it down on?

Meanwhile the midwife has already washed her hands, is doing a blood pressure, counting contractions, setting up equipment, explaining the plan to the client, assessing the heart rate … wait, how did she end up sitting on the couch with her hands poised, handing me a piece of paper, waiting patiently for me … who only had one job?

She even has enough time to tell the client to position herself in the position I need to do the VE … damnit, I barely have one glove on … and I forgot to open the gel before I put gloves on so my preceptor has to do that for me … I was getting there I swear!

Is that going to be me someday? I wanna be like her, someday (in 9 months, to be exact). Right now that seems unlikely …

Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey …


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