1. Stopped watching TV. What the hell? I LOVE television. This is not ok.
2. Broke a chair at the funeral home. Oh ya, that happened.
3. Yelled, “HOLY CRAP THAT’S EXPENSIVE” at the funeral home.
4. Had a solo dance party to my Dads oldies music. This to me was a sign that I’m feeling a wee bit better.
5. Watched a horror movie. Ya. That was fucking stupid. Let’s be sad AND scared.
6. Said, “Executrix sounds like a stripper name” to the young lady at the car insurance company. She stared at me dumbfounded before saying, “That’s a first.”
7. Made several inappropriate jokes at the funeral home. Including when the funeral director asked me if I wanted to rent the hall:
S: “Can we bring alcohol to the celebration of life?”
Funeral home director: “No, no alcohol, but great catering.”
S: “Oh. Ya. Screw that!”
(What the heck is wrong with me!!)
8. Dressed like a hipster. There is no photographic evidence, but the day my Dad died I was dressed like a hipster with a floppy toque. I’ll never be able to live that down.
9. Tried on my Dad’s clothes with my brother. “Ya, I’ll definitely wear this boxy, itchy, sweater vest.” No, you won’t. Put the sweater vest in the box, it definitely doesn’t fit and makes you look like a fuzzy cube.
10. Got in a fight with my brother over who ate the last Dinosour candy. Priorities …